Two men in white with straw boaters steer your wicker basket-sledge down steep streets from Monte towards Funchal, a 100-year-old tradition that has children shrieking with laughter.
An art-deco market full of fruit children have never seen, like banana-passion fruit and custard apples, plus the fish hall with fierce-looking black scabbardfish.
Wild common, spotted and bottlenose dolphins and several whale species live around Madeira all year, so seeing them from a boat is a real chance, not a show.
You can drive to 1,818 m and often stand above a sea of clouds, with jagged volcanic ridges all around: unforgettable at sunrise.
A short, easy walk beside a levada water channel through the UNESCO laurel forest to a balcony view over the mountains.
Swimming in clear seawater pools formed in black lava rock, with Atlantic waves crashing just beyond the walls.
Walking through real lava tubes left by a volcanic eruption is a geology lesson children actually enjoy.
Children in flower costumes add a flower each to the 'Wall of Hope', then floats covered in blooms parade through Funchal.
Saturday-night firework competitions over Funchal bay at the start of summer, watched from the seafront.
Funchal glows with Christmas lights all December, and the whole amphitheatre-shaped bay erupts in fireworks at midnight on New Year's Eve.